By Maxine Aston
Asperger Syndrome (AS) has frequently been thought of to be incompatible with love and relationships, yet because the variety of diagnoses raises, it's changing into obvious that folks with AS can and do have complete and intimate relationships. Maxine Aston frankly examines the basic elements of relationships which are usually complex by means of the ailment. Illustrated with real-life examples, the e-book tackles matters resembling charm, belief, conversation, intimacy and parenting and encompasses a part on commonly asked questions, making it a needs to for all people with AS and their companions, in addition to for acquaintances, relatives and counselors.
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Extra info for Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs
So he hears her words as criticism rather than advice and in that way does not have to acknowledge what she is saying or act on her perceived criticism. The only time I have seen AS men change their perception of themselves is when they have had a diagnosis and realized that what their partners were saying was true: there really was, for instance, a problem in communication – he did not always know what she wanted. For some adults with AS, finding that there is a reason for why they do not always get it right or why they cannot seem to make their partner happy comes as a complete revelation.
Only one woman said she trusted her husband totally and that trust had increased since his diagnosis. She was part of a young couple who had received a diagnosis and appropriate counselling quite early in their relationship. It is very difficult to have trust in an area one does not understand. The behaviour of people with Asperger syndrome can be very hard to understand. If the NT partner has little or no awareness and knowledge of AS she will continually receive the wrong messages and form a false perception on why some of the things he does make no sense whatsoever and just appear cruel and callous.
If this pattern of behaviour is not broken or brought into the couple’s awareness it will soon start to have a very negative effect on both partners. Both will feel they are not valued in the relationship. He will be making his contributions in a practical and active way and she may not be aware that they are his way of saying he cares. His deeds will carry the same value for him as her emotional input does to her. Unfortunately both may go unnoticed and will seem just taken for granted. This creates a lot of disharmony for the couple and both feel unvalued for the qualities they feel they offer.